Goodbye, dear friend

Dear Joey,

You and I have been friends for such a long time. I remember so clearly the day you and I met. In the beginning, you were not destined to be my friend, but that of another human. I had just lost my friend Patches weeks before this fateful day and was lonely when approached by her. She asked if I would please care for you for a few weeks so that she could prepare her home and make it ready to welcome you in. Your previous home was the Bishop Animal Shelter and though a wonderful safe haven for hundreds of helpless, homeless and abandonded creatures, such as yourself, not a home deserving of such a special soul. I agreed at once to take you in, promising to care for you as though you were my own and relinquish you to her...when the time came.

The minute I saw your face, I knew...without a doubt...you were meant for me.

I took you in, cared for you, loved you and secretly struggled with how to approach her and ask that she find another friend, that you belonged with me. As the weeks passed the more worried I became at the thought of having to give you back.

The day you were to leave, I had decided to be upfront and honest and explain to her that this sweet, loving, gentle cat...truly belonged here. However, you beat me to the punch. Attacked her when she tried to pick you up, clawed her head and..well...scared the crap out of her. You were now mine.

We've been through a lot over the years. Other cats, dogs, two kids, a divorce, a trip to Minnesota (you were very brave!) a new home, a new husband, another cat and a new dog. And through it all you have been a constant and true friend.

I knew as the years past and your leaps grew fewer and farther between, your naps longer and your eyes more tired...that our time was drawing to an end. I tried not to think about it but it was always in the back of my mind. 18 isn't very old for a cat, we still have many more years together...I rationalized within my own mind. I was wrong. Borrowed time, is what we had...and all too quickly the time had come and I was not ready. I think you were.

In the end I wanted more for you than a cold steril hospital, strange people, sharp needles and barking dogs. I wanted peace for you, your sunbeam in the morning and the quiet comfort of my room in the evening. I hope it was the right choice to make, I hope it is what you would have wanted.

Unfortunatly the end came too fast dear friend, I wasn't ready.

Now you are gone and there is a big hole in my heart left behind. The house seems so strange without your presence and I find myself second guessing every choice I made on your behalf towards the end. I will never know if my choices were "right" but I will always know my choices were made because I loved you.

Now every time the sun shines through my window, I will always think of you.

Until we meet again

I love you