...utterly how I feel right now. Been going in to work every day for the last 2 weeks really early. I've not gotten to ride except on Saturdays, it's cold, bleak, bare, brown, grey and dreary and I am feeling so demotivated I can hardly look at myself in the mirror right now. I know it's more than likely a pitty party that I've stumbled in to but how the hell to get out of it...not too terribly sure. I feel as though I am the guest of honor and it sucks. I've been eating like shit lately, too much crap...I'd say I fell off the wagon but I don't think it's bad enough to qualify for that yet but it has still affected my mood for sure.
I don't want to be fat any more! I wish my friend didn't have a candy bag hanging right next to my cube (though, I have not touched it in 2 days, I could kick myself for ever allowing that ONE treat after I had not touched it for months...I feel like I am starting all over). I wish I had more self control.
Good news is, if I HAVE put some weight back on it hasn't been much so I don't feel like much sabotage has been done to my progress thus far, however, with the holidays fast approaching I need to figure out how I can eat what I want to, in smaller portions, and still move forward, even if it's a millisecond at a time instead of a day at a time.
I MISS RIDING EVERY DAY!!
I did go and get some more apparel to wear for cold weather while biking, I got a hood/hat/neck warmer/face thingy last night, also picked up a REALLY large reflective full vest that will fit over my winter coat so if I have to ride in the road (while sidewalks are still snow covered) hopefully I'll be seen better and sooner and some thermal long sleeve undershirts to wear under my bike jersey, never did find a long sleeve jersey I liked and now I can't justify the 100 bucks to get one a.) so close to the holidays or b.) just when we are about to "not buy" anything for an entire year. More to come on this newest adventure.
David has to work this coming Saturday (normally our day to venture out for a long trek) so I am planning to go out on my own...however, I am nervous because I don't want to get lost...REALLY don't want to get lost. Will be sure to bring my camera, though, just incase I do misplace myself I can at least take pics to blog my trip.
ok. must get to work...J.O.B...back to the salt mines, someone crack the whip!
Here's to hope floating!
Peace out!
2 comments:
Hey miss,
Just wanted to leave a comment to encourage you. When you're feeling discouraged just remind yourself that the diet and exercise changes you are making are a *life* change. As long as those are the "default settings" for how you live, you can give yourself some room for a break every now and then. A piece of candy every once in a while is not going to derail you!
That said, there is something for...um...avoiding temptation! I discovered that I *don't* have much self control. So I exert self control at the grocery store - that way I don't have to the rest of the time! Maybe you can ask your friend to put her candy in her desk or something, so it's not so convenient?
I read this book called "Mindless Eating" which is really interesting. The premise is that we don't really think a lot about how we eat, so we can wind up eating quite a bit more than we planned. If we can use simple tricks then we can turn that around and fool ourselves into eating less really easily. Anyway some of the studies the author does are looking at office workers with candy bowls and how much they'll eat based on where the bowl is placed. Out of sight really IS out of mind...
Anyway, I have been so inspired reading about all your biking adventures, and so impressed that you have stuck with it and the progress that you have made! It definitely can be challenging to transition to winter sports though. I had my first winter-weather run a couple of weeks ago and I SO did not want to go. The whole first mile I was planning a complaining blog post in my head. But by the time I finished the run I suddenly realized I actually felt great, despite the weather! Anyway it sure does take discipline to get on out there in the cold gray wet. You're dead on with getting the equipment though, staying warm and dry makes it a lot more enjoyable!
Don't beat yourself up - cut yourself some slack. You are doing a great job and I am so proud of you!
Love,
Ali
Ali! Thanks so much for the encouraging words, this made my day! Actually we do REALLY well (self control wise) at the grocery store so when I go off track at home it's usually with a bowl or 2 of cereal, bread and butter, nuts, things like that and the occasional chips. Not horrible bad at all. It's the "at work time" with the candy bag, but I can do it. I KNOW I can.
I absolutely love the cold bike riding, especially the coming home, spent, feeling exhilarated and going in to the warm house, getting comfy with a hot beverage. It's the best feeling. Stay tuned for a complaining post though at a later date when the snow flies...I've not attempted that yet. =)
ps. I jogged for the FIRST time since highschool last weekend. Totally unplanned, just walking the dog and felt the need to run...so I did...then walked a bit and ran some more. I LOVED IT! And it wasn't as hard as I remember it being and Pickles was SOOOO happy and when we got home and got comfy with our hot coffee, she konked out on the sofa for the next 2 hours and slept HARD.
Who knew I could run WITHOUT being chased by something with really large teeth threatening to eat me?!?!
Love,
Jen
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