"Y" ? Because we wanted to! Seriously, after last weeks revelation regarding finances, eating, eating our finances I decided it was time to pick up the pace in my quest to lose someone that's been sucking the life out of my life for far too many years. Jen...continued. You know her, she's that extra person I have been dragging along with me for so long you don't even really "see" her. There is the healthy, vibrant 150 pound Jen and then there is "Jen continued". "Jen Part 2". "Return of the "Jen-i". "Jen-i Strikes back"...another 110 pounds of "Jen". That's 22 5lb bags of potatoes hanging from my body. I find that staggering. I hate having to carry ONE 5lb bag of potatoes from the car to the house and here I am lugging around 22 of them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Why? So, I have decided that instead of ALWAYS asking "WHY" I am going to ask "Y". As in the "YMCA". I am now a card carrying (don't look at the picture it's some other butt ugly woman, she must'a ran real quick in front of me JUST before they snapped it! The wench! I'll find her later...) water bottle toting, class taking, learning the combination to my lock...member of the "Y". "Y"? Because I have to. Because I want to.
I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at the number of other "double people" I saw right there with me (and me) at the gym last night. I was proud of them! They were out there sweating it out right next to those "other" people who so OBVIOUSLY don't need to be there but are there anyway (I won't judge, I won't judge) Not caring what they look like, not caring who is watching (or not watching) them. Just out there doing what needs to be done. YOU GO MAN! You don't care, so I won't care either! I don't care what anyone thinks about me (and me) right now. Yes, I have to deal with all the same issues that all the other people walking around with their own personal sequels have to deal with. You know...the shorts that don't fit just right or ride up in the thigh area ALL the darn time. The heavy breathing, excessive sweating...the looks of sheer struggle and exhaustion. But I am ok with that because I won't have to deal with it forever. I am cutting the cord on "part 2" and have started focusing all of my attention on the one and only true Jen.
My first class was a "Bodypump" class, it was an hour of pure hell but I loved every second of it. I also had another hour of strength and core training. Man was it rough. But I left that gym last night feeling like I had earned every drop of sweat and I slept like the dead until the alarm this morning. That doesn't happen very often. So I will continue down this road I have chosen and I will continue to work as hard and be as loyal to ME as I am to everything else in my life. "Y" because I am worth it!
...I wonder though...when I finally do lose "her", will a part of me miss her?
3 comments:
You go, girl! I am so proud of you and I KNOW you can do it. Whenever you get frustrated or weary just call me and I will pep talk you. :)
Funny, I totally think about the weight in "pantry" terms too - like imagining running that half marathon with 2.5 25 pound bags of flour strapped to my back. You know, the flour I make Chris lift because it is too heavy!
And - as a card carrying member of the "There Used to be Two of Me" club - I have to tell you I don't think you will miss her when she is gone!
Love,
Ali
Yes, a part of you will miss her. But the other part of you will LOVE the fact that she is gone! I am so proud of my big sister!
Aww thanks guys! Your encouragement means a TON to me. (no pun intended!)
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